[BOOK SUMMARY] SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE

Success in marriage book summary

BOOK TITLE: SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE

AUTHOR: Faith and David Oyedepo.

ABOUT AUTHOR:Faith and David Oyedepo.

David Olaniyi Oyedepo (born 27 September 1954) is a Nigerian preacher, the founder of the Living Faith Church Worldwide, and presiding Bishop of the Faith Tabernacle in Ota, Ogun State, Nigeria.

The church is also known as Winners’ Chapel International.

The Winners’ Chapel International network of churches is located in over 300 cities, in all states of Nigeria and several cities across forty-five African nations, in Dubai, the United Kingdom and Europe, in Asia, and in the United States and Canada.

Oyedepo has been regarded as one of the pioneers of the Christian charismatic movement in Africa, and has been referred to as one of the most influential preachers to originate from Nigeria.

He is the Chancellor of Covenant University and Landmark University, and was named in 2011 by Forbes magazine as being the richest pastor in Nigeria

Pastor Faith Abiola Oyedepo is the wife of Dr. David Oyedepo, the founder of the Living Faith Church Worldwide a.k.a. Winners’ Chapel, and Senior Pastor of Faith Tabernacle, Canaanland, Ota, Nigeria. She propagates the Good News of Jesus Christ along with her husband, in numerous nations of the world, with a mission to liberate the oppressed

LEAD #1: The Covenant of Marriage.

Marriage is a covenant relationship and not just the coming together of a man and woman for the purpose of procreation.

This Is why God is a God of covenants.
This is why the convenant God had with Abraham( even after his demise) thousands of years ago is still in force today.
Genesis 17:2
TMB: I’ll make a covenant between us and I’ll give you a huge family.

The covenant God had with Abraham eas sealed in blood and the sign is circumcision.

Noah was another person God cut convenant with.

Be aware that a covenant is a bond.

It is also a formal sealed agreement or contract with witnesses.

God is the Principal Witness, while the people present are the cloud of witnesses.

Be aware that the word ‘Covenant’ and ‘Promise’ are two different things.

A promise is a declaration assuring that one will or will not do something; a vow. There are no conditions attached to it, unlike the covenant.

The covenant of marriage is Two-Sided:
Between the husband and wife.
Between the couple and God

While in a courtship, the act of blood covenant by cutting each other’s flesh and drinking each other’s blood to seal it up is demonic and therefore should not be encouraged.

Marriage Covenant has its characteristics which are:

It is Written and have witnesses:
This is why you are issued your marriage certificate afterwards. Because your commitment is written down.

It should not be broken.
It’s always active as long as both the husband and wife are alive.

Exchange of gifts.
Nothing should be difficult to give your spouse. Sharing in marriage is important.

It has a Seal.
It is usually sealed with blood and has a token or sign.
Gen 17:11:
KJV And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you

It Transcends Generations.
Once a man and a woman gets married, history is made, and they can never change that lineage.

Generations after them will keep connecting them with that lineage whenever reference is being made about them.

LEAD #2: God’s Interest in the Family and Satan’s Interest in the Home.

Let’s see what Hebrews 3:4 has to say.

KJV: For every house is builded by some man; but he that built all things is God.

It is your responsibility to build your home, the ultimate builder is God.

Whatever was strong enough to cause God to leave His throne in heaven must be very important.

Concerning Adam, God could have simply commanded the rib to come out. But He didn’t, showing how dear the marriage institution is to God.

God’s whole intention for instituting marriage is to take away shame from the life of man.

God is the foundation for success in the home. But when the foundation is faulty, no matter how righteous you may be, your home cannot stand.

Let’s see what Genesis 2:18 has to say.
KJV: And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an helpmeet for him.

The above Scripture is God’s exact plan for the family.

Satan is the enemy of everything good. Having lost access to goodness immediately he fell from heaven, he cannot stand anyone else enjoying good. He is envious of any good thing, so he goes about reversing the order of things. This is what makes him wicked.

Satan’s mission of stealing, killing and destroying is first targeted at the home.

His primary concern is how to steal the joy, peace and love that exists between couples.

One of the enemy’s trump cards against the home is polygamy, particularly in Africa.

He deceives a man into marrying another wife under the excuse that the first is not living up to expectation. So, the man takes a second, a third, and even a fourth wife, because he soon discovers that the subsequent wives are worse than the first.

Satan is a trickster! He has no power, only tricks.

He questions God’s instructions and challenges everything God says.

Satan wants your home so as to stop you from destroying his kingdom.

He does it to also hinder your prayers.

Anytime you sense any animosity rising within you against your spouse, know that Satan is seeking an entrance.

All you need to do, is to resist him steadfastly in faith.

Tell yourself that since you have no intention of having another home, you will not give Satan a foothold in your Family.

LEAD #3: For Good, Better and Best.

To enjoy all round Family dominion, husband and wife must always be in agreement, as it is the key that unlocks the door to Family dominion.

Disagreement between husband and wife shuts the door to Family dominion.

Marriage is meant for agreement, not for disagreement

Marriage is not a trap. It was instituted for the good of man.

Marriage provides you an opportunity for better living.

Marriage gives you access to double victory, as a couple can put ten thousand to flight.

Spiritually, God expects you to be a positive influence on your spouse, so that you can both press on to greater spiritual heights.

The essence of marriage is for couples to help each other socially especially with some ethics they’re not conversant with.

God expects a husband and wife to be financially transparent to one another.

In some cultures, the men believe that it is a shameful thing for their wives to know how much they earn. But the truth is, if you hide your earnings from your wife, she will definitely make demands that are beyond your means, as she doesn’t know how much you earn.

You have to make up your mind whether to hold on to culture or to hold on to the Word of God.

Some women also believe that their husbands alone are responsible for providing for the home. Some use scriptures to back such points.

As a wife, releasing your body to your husband and refusing to give him money sometimes and would rather buy the latest clothes etc, makes you look like a prostitute.

Marriage is meant to improve you mentally.
Husband and wife are expected to be helpers of one another physically.

As a husband, your wife will need your masculine attributes to help her get some physical tasks accomplished.

As a wife, there will be times when your husband will need your feminine nature to manage his legs after a stressful day at work.

LEAD #4: Getting Into Marriage.

Marriage is not a myth, neither is it magic. Marriage is a relationship that is to be entered into consciously.

Let’s see what Proverbs 18:22 has to say

KJV Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord.

You must open your physical eyes wide in order to find. That way, you are able to assess what you are seeing, whether it is what you really want or not.

Below are Seven steps to do when getting prepared for marriage:

Propose:
Walk up to the lady you love and tell her you want to marry her. You shouldn’t beat around the bush or harass her when telling her you want to marry her.

Proposal should be based on facts, and when the response from the other party is positive, then preparation begins.

Prepare:
At this stage both parties can quit if there’s consistent disagreement between them.

Breaking an engagement is scripturally permitted; it is not considered as a divorce and should not be mistaken for one.

Once your preparation is satisfactory, you move on to the next step.

Proceed:
You inform all those who need to know.

You are not permitted to proceed until you are satisfied with the available facts.

Promote:
At this point, you start promoting the plan for marriage.

You do this by putting the necessary things in place like a house etc.

Age is not what determines your preparedness for marriage. What you have not prepared for, you can’t succeed in.

Protect:
You must protect your destiny by protecting yourselves from defilement.

Protest:
You need to know what goes well with one another, and courtship period is the time to do it.

Also, if any of the spouse’s Family members raise some issues that can jeopardize your future, you are permitted to protest. You have the right to say, “This won’t work, on so and so basis.

Possess:
After all the above is accomplished, the next thing to do is to possess your husband or wife, and then the home is born.

LEAD #5: Covenant Obligations of Husbands and Wives.

Kindly read Ephesians 5:23-33.

The man is the principal figure in the Family unit. God reckons with his position as head of the home and holds him responsible for any mishap that occurs in it.

In the Garden of Eden, God questioned Adam when something went wrong.

Love:
The Love responsibility is the master key.
Love is the instrument a man uses to make his wife a glorious woman, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing.

Therefore, the making of any wife is in the hands of her husband.

Giving:
Giving is the practical expression of love.

When a man stops looking after his household, his life becomes worse than that of an unbeliever’s.

No matter how much tithe and offering he gives, God says he has denied the faith and will suffer the same fate as unbelievers.

Communication:
Love is also expressed in communication.
I call it seasoned communication. Ephesians 5:26 says: That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.

The Wife’s Obligations.

Reverence:
You revere your husband when his word counts in your ears and heart, and his instructions matter to you.

Submission has to be done in love, not out of fear or threats.

Mutual Obligations.

One of the reasons for marriage is “to avoid fornication.”
Romance is God’s tool for preserving marriage..

God put in man a sexual desire, which should only be satisfied in marriage.

That way, the desire will not be destructive.

A sexually inactive marriage is heading for destruction.

A healthy romance between a husband and wife makes for a healthy home and relationship.
Romance is a great facilitator of a successful marriage.
When a home stops being romantic, it starts to suffer devastation.

LEAD #6: The. Little Foxes in Marriage.

Let’s see what Song of Solomon 2:15 has to say.

Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.

Marriage can be likened to a vine having tender grapes. These foxes cause destruction of all sorts in marriages and families, if not checked.

Some of these foxes are:

The fox of Bitterness:

Bitterness starts from very little things. If not dealt with immediately, will ultimately trouble you.

It makes you fall short of the grace of God.

Bitterness also defiles, making you filthy before God.

The remedy to bitterness is to Forgive.

The fox of Pride:

Let’s see what Proverbs 16:18 has to say.

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall

Pride and destruction are twins. Wherever you see pride, know that its companion, destruction, is also close by.

Anytime you give room to pride, you are indirectly inviting destruction. It sets God against a man, because God resists a man of pride.

The remedy to this is to take on a meek spirit, not minding what name people will call you. You have a lot to gain by being meek. God will not only guide you, He will also teach you His way.

The fox of Wrong Company:
Let’s see what Proverbs 13:20 has to say.

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

A man doesn’t have to be foolish in himself to be destroyed. All he needs to do is walk with the foolish; and soon, the folly of his friend robs off and he is destroyed the same way a foolish man would.

Your friend is a reflection of you.

Anyone that constantly provokes your spirit and gives you wrong counsel against your wife, husband or Family wellbeing will destroy your home.

The remedy to this, is to stop that association before it stops you!

Agreement should be the basis for any association.

The fox of Ingratitude:

Ingratitude means unthankfulness. It is failing to acknowledge or appreciate acts of kindness either by God or man.

The enemy uses it to distract man from seeing what God has done, rather than seeing what hasn’t been done.

The fox of Murmuring:
Complaining and murmuring always result in unrest in the home.

If it brought fire to the camp of Israel, it will bring the same to any home.

Murmuring stops the help of God from reaching a man. Rather, it unleashes the destroyer.
“Every complaint complicates issues for you.” Don’t complicate matters for yourself. You have what it takes to take off the little foxes that spoil the vine.

So, rise up to your responsibilities, and you will enjoy liberty.

The fox of Ignorance:

Let’s see what John 2:5&7 has to say.

His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.

Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water.
And they filled them up to the brim.

Whatever the Word of God demands of you, do it to the full, without any reservations.
Until they filled the pots up to the brim, the miracle did not take place.

When you are filled with the Word concerning your home, it cannot run short of miracles.

KEY INSIGHTS FROM THE BOOK ????.

✍???? God is a God of covenant.

✍???? a covenant is a bond.

✍???? God is the Ultimate builder of a home.

✍???? Satan is the enemy of everything good.

✍???? One of the enemy’s trump cards against the home is polygamy

✍???? Satan’s mission of stealing, killing and destroying is first targeted at the home.

✍???? Satan is a trickster! He has no power, only tricks.

✍???? Anytime you sense any animosity rising within you against your spouse, know that Satan is seeking an entrance.

✍???? Satan wants your home so as to stop you from destroying his kingdom.

✍???? Disagreement between husband and wife shuts the door to Family dominion.