I was listening to an old NPR spot on the car radio when Celeste Kidd, professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, mentioned the well-known “marshmallow test.” The conversation reminded me of the way the Bible talks about fighting sin, and I realized she’d stumbled onto a truth that could help men and women in their fight against pornography.
We’re always at our strongest in our fight against sin when we see how it trades away God’s goodness for what’s much less satisfying.
Marshmallows and Trust
The marshmallow test was a 1960s psychological experiment that measured delayed gratification in children. One group of kids resisted the temptation to eat a marshmallow while the other group couldn’t. The study concluded the first group would have more success in life while the others would struggle to succeed.
The test isn’t without methodological problems, but its “findings” are influential enough that they probably shape the way you think about what you’re innately able to do or not do. For instance, have you ever said, “I just can’t seem to help myself”?
Sin trades away God’s goodness for what’s much less satisfying.
On NPR, Kidd talked about her hypothesis that children can make reasonable decisions when they trust their environment to be stable. With this premise, she changed the marshmallow study in key ways. Kidd’s researchers told two groups of children that if they waited to eat the marshmallow, they’d be given art supplies when the researchers returned to the test room. After a moderate wait, researchers returned to tell the children they could eat the marshmallow, but they gave only one group the art supplies. Group B never got them. Then they concluded that round.
In the next round, both groups sat in front of a marshmallow and were told that researchers were leaving to get a second marshmallow. The children were promised both marshmallows if they waited until the researcher returned. Predictably, Group B children didn’t trust the researchers would return, but Group A children did.
Kidd concluded children can delay immediate gratification for a future reward in the context of a trusting relationship.
Our Trust in God’s Goodness
It’s not that different with fighting sin. Just as with Satan’s lie in the garden, and comparable to Kidd’s version of the marshmallow test, doubt lies at the heart of every temptation. Doubt in God’s goodness. A temptation to believe transgression will deliver satisfaction God can’t supply.
Each of us is made with a desire to enjoy sexual pleasure. It’s part of God’s benevolent design to provide us comfort, satisfaction, and procreation in marriage. But trusting that design is difficult when the world puts constant marshmallows in your face and tempts you to think the art supplies will never come.
Never before in human history have pornographic images been so constantly available. Despite the grave physiological consequences, more and more people fall into porn habits every day.
But God can be trusted. All his ethical commands, including the commands to avoid pornea, are given in the context of a loving, trusting relationship. God doesn’t make arbitrary or unnecessary demands. As the psalmist says,
The laws of the LORD are true;
each one is fair.
They are more desirable than gold,
even the finest gold.
They are sweeter than honey,
even honey dripping from the comb.
They are a warning to your servant,
a great reward for those who obey them. (Ps. 19:9–11, NLT)
Fighting Porn Starts with Gain, Not Loss
God can be trusted because he loves us and wants our good. I’m convinced many Christians lose the fight against porn because we focus on the marshmallow in front of us instead of the promised glory that awaits us. We focus too much on the momentary sexual pleasure we’re losing when we resist temptation rather than on what we gain by obedience. But when we only focus on what we shouldn’t do, our eyes are closed to God’s goodness.
Thankfully, loss isn’t how the Bible frames the fight against sin. The way to win the war against porn—or any sin—is to focus on gain.
The author of Hebrews tells us that Moses chose “rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward” (Heb. 11:25–26). Moses had come to know that the true and living God could be trusted to be good, and, as a result, he could walk away from the fleeting pleasures of Egypt and embrace temporary suffering for the sake of eternal reward with God.
Paul wrote something similar to the Colossians. He didn’t shrink back from telling them what they shouldn’t do. Yes, they were to “put off” the sinful behaviors, ambitions, and desires they’d learned from their pagan culture (Col. 3:9). But they were also to “put on” the life of Christ and count this as great gain (v. 10).
Paul assured them, “When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory” (v. 4). He reminded the Colossians they’d already been united with Christ. They’d already tasted and seen that the Lord is good (Ps. 34:8). They’d seen that God could be trusted, and Paul knew that should inspire them to turn down earthly things and enjoy Christ.
Gain Even Now
Fighting porn isn’t all about future gain. Jesus Christ’s completed work on the cross allows us to fight sin for gain now.
Part of Christ’s work was to disarm sin’s power—yes, even the allure of pornography—so we can resist sinful desires (Col. 2:15). Christ’s steadfastness in the face of suffering makes him able to “sympathize with our weaknesses” (Heb. 4:15).
Friends, Jesus knows what the fight against sin takes. Because he’s familiar with the fight, he’s eager to give mercy and grace to those who approach his throne (v. 16). Those united with Christ receive in themselves the same Spirit who sustained Jesus in his earthly ministry. As we walk in the Spirit’s power, we begin to see the goodness of God’s commands and to long for things that bring him joy.
As we walk in the Spirit’s power, we begin to see the goodness of God’s commands and to long for things that bring him joy.
The cross of Christ kills our old self with its desires and gives us a new life with new desires and joys. We still fight those old desires but do so from a place of Christ’s victory in us, seeing all the more God’s mercy and kindness.
Kidd’s study sees this profound truth through a clouded window. We’re at our strongest in our fight against pornography when we see it for the unsatisfying, sad, and solitary marshmallow it is. We win the fight for holiness when we fix our eyes on Christ’s character and the promises we already know he’ll deliver on.
The Bible reminds us over and over that God is good so we don’t make the same trade our first parents did. Because God is good, we can resolve not to trade eternity for the temporal, good design for twisted use, or gain for loss.
