Nigeria's Leading Gospel News Platform

henotacelogo

Search Henotacemedia

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT MARRIAGE BY DAVID OSHIN

We are increasingly grooming a generation that is getting further and further from the bible, a generation that seems to define the concept of truth for themselves according to their convenience. What is burdensome is that the church is sort of embracing the world’s definitions and adjusting itself daily to suit what pleases the world. There is such a concept like let us leave the bible and face reality, and this is spreading like cancer in every aspect of human endeavor especially marriage, in some marriage counseling’s they talk of everything except the principles of the bible, some use the bible principles but makes it minor and the physical things the major. Like My Father in faith Bishop Oyedepo always say, “there is no new generational truth, there is no modern truth, and any attempt to adjust the truth always puts us in trouble”, it is no more news that many don’t read their bibles again and whatever their spiritual leader tells them is the word from the lord, nobody tries to cross check from scriptures.

This attitude is the major cause of the major disasters that has affected the Christian faith, and until we discipline ourselves to learn what the bible says there is no victory in sight, until we know God for ourselves and stand on what the scriptures says it is “struggle continue” , no matter the anointing or grace you are under a time comes where you have to know God for yourself when trouble strikes, God did not promise us a trouble free world, he promised us victory through Christ , so we all must face obstacles , we must face challenges and it is knowing God deeply through his word and not through what your pastor says that will deliver you.

This book gives you a detailed exposition on God’s plan for marriage and simple bible principles that have been ignored over the years that has crashed many marriages and made many believers frustrated, in my opinion if you will follow just bible principles innocently and doggedly with strong discipline then you will have a wonderful marriage, remember God’s word never fails.

 

CONTENTS

  • What marriage is
  • God’s plan and purpose for marriage
  • Divine Pattern
  • Submission
  • Love
  • Divorce is not an option
  • Frequently Asked questions and answers

 

WHAT MARRIAGE IS

Marriage according to free dictionary “is a legal union between two persons that confer certain privileges and entails certain obligations of each person to the other, formerly restricted in the United States to a union between a woman and a man”.

This definition is very interesting, we see that marriage is a legal union between two persons, and the key word there is the union (which comes from the concept of being united) and what is more interesting is that the restriction between a man and a woman has been removed, meaning marriage can also be union between a man and a man, a woman and a woman, and so forth. Like we pointed out in the introduction, every generation tends to redefine the truth for their own convenience and usually it is always an evil convenience and to satisfy evil lust, so morality is being redefined according to people’s convenience, so let us imagine what morality will be in four(4) generations to come. Since it is legal in United States for a man to marry a man, a woman to marry a woman, which is directly against the law of God and even an abomination in the sight of God, how will the coming generation be groomed.

The Alarming part of it is that is gradually creeping into the church and the church is seeing nothing wrong in it. We have to go back to the word of God which is eternal and standard for all ages and all generations to see what the bible says. It is a necessary discipline we have to put on ourselves to study the bible deeply and teach our children the truths so we can protect our generation, we need to think in terms of our posterity.

It is no more news that people in the United States are pushing for Man to Animal Marriage, (Man to Dog), (woman to Cat) and so on, and also some are agitating for man to robots marriage and woman to robots marriage.

The point is we cannot just sit down and fold our hands we have to fight for our children and generations to come, but before we do that we need adequate knowledge from scriptures and discipline ourselves to follow the word of God and be the model for our children to follow. The beautiful thing about it is that the word of God has something to say about all that is going on, the bible tells us that “all things are laid bare before the word, and nothing is hidden before the word of God”(Heb. 4:13(paraphrased)), the word sees everything and has seen everything right from creation so the word remains the only solution we have. All of this gay marriage and Homo sexual , and all of this man to animal has been predicted by the word and it is not even new because it also happened in bible days but it was an hidden affair and an abomination but the world is turning to a free zone for all forms of atrocities. I love a popular quote that says “there is nothing new under the sun except you are new under the sun”.

Rom. 1:26-27 (N.L.T)

…Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other.

  1. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relationships with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men and, as a result, suffered within themselves the penalty they so richly deserved

It is particularly interesting that this letter was not to unbelievers, Paul wrote it to the saints in Rome, (the church). So it is not just unbelievers doing these things, it has started creeping into the church heavily.

 

GOD’S PLAN AND PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE

Dr. Myles munroe once said “when the purpose of a thing is not known abuse is inevitable”. So when the purpose of marriage is not known abuse is inevitable, and that is what many folks in the faith are doing, they are simply abusing marriage. We need to redefine the concept of marriage from God’s perspective. We need to know God’s eternal plan for marriage because man did not institute marriage, God instituted marriage and he has his plans for it, so the purpose of any product is in the mind of the manufacturer of the product, same way the purpose of marriage is in the mind of the institutor of it, and the manufacturer puts a manual beside his product so the user can understand its purpose, so also the bible is God’s manual that contains the purpose of what he instituted.

Contrary many people’s opinion that God created marriage for companionship, quoting from Gen. 2:18 “ And the Lord God said , it is not good that man should be alone: I will make him a help meet for him” this scripture needs to be understood contextually,

  • God never said Adam needed a companion
  • God never said Adam was lonely

Adam already had a companion in God, God had a beautiful fellowship with Adam before eve came, there is a difference between been alone and been lonely. You can be lonely in the midst of a crowd, and you can be alone without be lonely. Marriage is a not a way to solve a woman’s loneliness or a man’s loneliness, it is not a way to complete a man or a woman. Adam was complete and had a job to do (tending the garden (Gen. 2:15)), so even though companionship is one of the benefits of marriage, it is not the primary purpose. Eve was an help meet for Adam, she was there to assist him with what he was doing, she was there to assist him to fulfil his mandate, and an help meet is not a laborer’s job, there are some men who never do anything again when they marry, their wives do everything for them, it not wrong but it should not be abused. The word abuse is from two words “abnormal use”, so when people don’t understand God’s perspective of marriage they abnormally use their wives, and it is called wife abuse and vice versa.

SO THE QUESTION IS WHAT IS GOD’S PLAN FOR MARRIAGE?

The simple purpose God instituted marriage is to fulfill his divine Agenda. God gave Adam the first assignment after creating him to “be fruitful and multiply, replenish the earth and subdue it ….” (Gen. 1:28) , and Adam cannot carry out this assignment all by himself , remember without eve Adam would still do it but it will be laborious , someone may be asking how?

If you look at the preceding verse carefully “ Adam was created as male and female”( verse 27), that means he was bisexual, so he was capable of self-production like some animals which includes bottle nose dolphins, bonobo, orca , e.t.c.  it will however be so laborious to do the work all alone, so God gave him eve as an help meet, and remember God removed eve out of Adam( it was basically a separation of the female part). So it is about God’s Assignment , it is about God’s mandate. So we cannot remove God out of the picture when it comes to marriage because the purpose of the marriage is God.

Marriage is not  to fulfill your Agenda, it is to fulfil his Agenda”.

The first thing to understand before embarking the glorious journey of marriage is the Agenda of the Lord. You need to inquire for God’s divine Agenda for the union and align yourself to it, it is so crucial.

 

DIVINE PATTERN

After understanding God’s Agenda for the marriage, the key thing to understand is divine pattern, and this is where most believers miss it. There is a laid down pattern for every man and woman to fulfil God’s divine Agenda, a lack of understanding of this has led to the destruction of many wonderful marriages, and a key understanding of this would have prevented some marriages from coming up in the first place.

There are some key things to understand as regards divine pattern

  • Experience is not the best teacher
  • People’s experiences only serves as pointers and signals but are not a model for your own marriage, Christ is the only Model.
  • The word of God is the best teacher because it has been tried, tested and proved, so the Holy Ghost teaches you by the word.
  • It is our deviating from the word to follow the life applicable lessons of Men as model that has kept many people in bondage.
  • While the counsels of men are good and great, you need to understand the leadings and the dealings of the Holy Spirit as regards the pattern for your marriage.
  • The Holy Ghost may not be leading you the way he led your father in the lord, even though he had a wonderful marriage.
  • Remember you need a word stand in time of crisis, you cannot hold on to the word of your spiritual father for long, you need to receive it as a revelation from the Spirit in the word.
  • There is no template in the word of God for the number of years for courtship or relationship, so nobody’s life can be an adequate template, it can serve as a guide but learn to be flexible to the Spirit.
  • If God is not leading you, don’t be forced into marriage because of a key position to occupy in the church (e.g Pastor).
  • Pattern has unique timing, and it is to fulfil a specific course beyond you.
  • In God’s Pattern, Marriage is not about you but your seed, seed’s seed to as many generations.

Let’s take biblical example :

 

ABRAHAM AND SARAH (GEN. CHAPTER 12 – CHAPTER 22)

When God met Abraham and told him about his great plan of redemption, God told him that in his seed shall all the nations be blessed. What Abraham didn’t understand was that it wasn’t just his seed, it had to be Sarah’s womb. This is something believers must understand you can’t marry anybody because God has a plan and marrying a wrong person might not just be a mistake it might produce the greatest evil this world has ever seen. Understanding this plants in you a very heavy consciousness of following God’s divine Agenda, so marriage to you should not be a state in your life or a particular age, it is according to God’s timing, plan, purpose and pursuit. Sarah in her niceness wanted to help God fulfil his promise by giving Abraham her maid (Hagar), soon she realized it was a great mistake. To the couple it was a mistake but to God they had done a great damage to the Christian faith, and the mistake has not been erased till now. It has been proven by facts that most of the notorious criminals that America has ever produced came from lineages of wrong marriages, and the greatest names also came from lineages of right marriages. The bible tells us that “the seed of the man that fears the lord shall be mighty upon the earth”(Ps. 112:1-2)

When God was speaking to Abraham that in his seed shall the nations of the earth be blessed, Abraham thought well his seed (his first born), Paul tells us by revelation that God wasn’t even talking about Isaac but Christ.

Gal. 3:16

Now to Abraham and his seed were the promises made. He said not, and to seeds, as of many; but as of one. And to your seed which is Christ.

When God was talking to Abraham, it was after 42 generations that Christ came, this is just to tell us how God sees things. So we need to be very careful, Abraham and Sarah’s hastiness to bring the promise to pass brought about Ishmael which is the generations of the Islam today that are seriously persecuting the Christians. Paul calls it an allegory of two covenants from Abraham.

“It is not just the seed of Abraham, it had to be the womb of Sarah”

Abraham understanding this learnt some bitter lessons and warned the chief servant in his house to follow pattern, Abraham gave him specific instructions as to where to get a wife for his son (Isaac), to show the seriousness of this Abraham told him to swear ( he bound him with an oath) so he would take it seriously.(Gen. 24: 1-67).

Abraham told him not take a wife for his son among the Canaanites ,but to go to his country and his kindred, and when the servant got there he had to pray for direction, and Rebekah came out as an answer to his prayers, see; marriage is a very serious thing, if you don’t understand it don’t abuse it. When the servant brought the wife unto him, he wasn’t just sitting at home relaxing, the bible tells us he was in the field meditating (Gen. 24:63).

The most important thing in Marriage is spiritual alignment”.

In Jacob’s case the father called him and warned him not to take a wife from the Canaanite but to go to his place to get a wife. (Gen. 28:1-2), and Jacob hearkened to the voice of his father Isaac , to them marrying any one was not just an option, there was a pattern to follow, and they were very strict about it.

Now some people who don’t correctly interpret the bible can say this means everyone should go to his home town and marry, that is not what the bible is saying, they were following a pattern and specific instructions they were led by the spirit of God.

Our Patriarchs “Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob” has given a very good template on the importance of following God’s pattern.

SUBMISSSION

The word of God has given us an official template to follow in scriptures to have a wonderful marriage, there was a wonderful relationship between Abraham and Sarah, and there are some pertinent principles to learn from their lives.

Ish. 51:2

Look to Abraham your father, and to Sarah that bore you: …

The first we learnt from Abraham and Sarah is the powerful effect of divine pattern and Abraham guided his Son not to fall in that same mistake, another powerful thing to learn from their lives is the submission.

1 Pet. 3:6

Even as Sarah obeyed her Abraham, calling him Lord: whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Before we can properly treat the subject of submission, we must first understand the power of culture. This is one part that has been heavily ignored over the years, Africa and most places of the world have very rich cultures that taught the women submission right from their childhood, the deterioration of our cultural heritage through westernization is a major problem to the durability of our marriages. May I submit to you folks, the problem of most Christian marriages is more of cultural deterioration than Spirituality.

Reading the bible carefully, you will understand the rich display of culture starting from the Jewish people even down to the New Testament. The New Testament didn’t come to water down people’s culture, NO! Grace is not message that should destroy the cultural heritage of a people, Grace introduces to us the heavenly culture because God’s Kingdom has its own culture which Paul did a major part in addressing in his Epistles. The Culture of respect, submission, modesty , morality, Godliness is enshrined in the epistles , being spiritual does not take the place of respect rather it should enhance it, Anointing never takes the place of respect it should enhance it.

The problem of most marriages is more of a cultural deterioration than spirituality

1 Tim. 5:1-2 (N.L.T)

Never talk harshly to an older Man, but appeal to him respectfully as though he were your father. Talk to the younger men as you would to your own brothers.

Treat the older women as you would your mother, and treat the younger women with all purity as your own sisters.

Paul in his letter to the Ephesians admonishes them to honor their parents in the Lord, so their days can be long on earth, we are coming to a generation that is fast losing the culture of honor, respect and decency, and it is now becoming a major stronghold in the body of Christ. Someone may be asking, how does this now affect marriage, it does a whole lot. This was what our Fathers in the Old Testament held in high esteem, the culture of Honor and respect.

Ish. 51:2

Look to Abraham your father, and to Sarah that bore you: …

1 Pet. 3:6

Even as Sarah obeyed her Abraham, calling him Lord: whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

God admonishes us to look unto Abraham and Sarah, and one important thing we can learn from them is respect, the bible tells us Sarah called her Husband Lord, it was full submission, she didn’t just see him as a partner, or helper but Lord. In that same verse Paul called the ladies daughters of Sarah, so they must of necessity learn to reverence their husbands as lord, now it is not wrong to call him pet names like sweetheart, honey and so on, but the point is he must be given full reverence as Lord.

This strong wave of equality Agenda is fast destroying our marriages, and I don’t know where they got that from but certainly not from scriptures, so if the church is also imbibing that concept, that is too bad. The bible says a Man and a Woman are equal, in the realm of the spirit they are the same but in this physical realm the man is seen as head and should be revered as so. The point is if we are willing to submit to what the bible says, but if we want to set up our own rules then the trouble is just beginning, we haven’t seen anything yet.

Submission can stand as a doctrine in marriage because it has adequate witnesses both from the Old Testament and the New Testament, but we will just look at a few references in the New Testament.

Eph. 5: 22 -23

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and the savior of the body…

Paul gives a Model for submission, a woman submits to her own husband as to the lord, so her submission is to the lord under the Man. People must understand the concept of submission, submission does not make a woman inferior or stupid, it makes you spiritual and reverent. Because submission is not to a person, submission is to God under a person, we must have the right perspective to submission, if we see it in that light we won’t have a problem submitting. For example Christ is completely submissive to God (because God is the Head of Christ (1 Cor. 11:3)),  but Christ is not less than God , so for authority sake Christ submits to God as a proof of spirituality and being spiritually matured.

The point is no matter what the Man says, convenient or not, since you understand that your submission is to God under him, you don’t have a problem obeying because you love God and you are honoring God.

The husband is head of the wife, that is the authority line and God doesn’t bypass authority because he is a God of order, just as the church is under the Authority of Christ, and Christ is under the Authority of God

A woman that cannot submit is not spiritual”.

Bishop David Oyedepo once said “Any woman that is submissive can never lack love

1 Tim. 2:11-12 (N.I.V)

A woman should learn in quietness and full submission

I do not permit a woman to teach or assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.

Paul uses the word full submission and not assume authority over a man, I tell my students that learn how to  hold your place in legality so you can bail yourself out, and take the legality of the word and stand on it so you can justify yourself. I know some people who will say well, I will submit if it is convenient, Paul wasn’t talking about convenience here, he said full submission as a matter of truth, no true submission can be convenient it goes against your human nature so it takes a lot of spiritual discipline. The point even when he gives you instructions that look intentionally wicked, still obey then you bail yourself out and he will have to face God, that is the place of legality, remember you cannot justify yourself when you are in rebellion against authority, “two wrongs they say don’t make a right” this is why the choice of the man you want to marry as a lady is very crucial you cannot disobey him and claim to obey God, it doesn’t work that way, you are in rebellion.

 

 

Titus 2:4-5

These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children,

To live wisely and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

Paul admonishes mothers to teach their children how to love their husbands, it still points back to a rich cultural heritage, most of the submission problem we see today won’t be if mothers had taught their children these things, in those days young ladies were practically schooled into the art of marriage right from their tender age, so it wasn’t difficult for them because they were trained, we have developed an untrained generation, a generation that lacks basic home training. This is a charge for us also to train our children and be examples with your lives so they can learn the basic rudiments of marriage, marriage is not compulsory ; if you want to venture into it at all, then be ready to absorb its responsibilities, ladies should learn how to take care of their homes (husband’s house), while growing up, they should learn basic arts of cooking, and taking care of the home, it is very important. While Education is good, it should never take the place of home training. Most parents train their maids for marriage while their own children become completely rotten under their nose.

Arc Bishop Duncan Williams said

most parents prepare the future for their children but don’t prepare the children for the future

Titus 2:4-5

These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children,

To live wisely and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

When a woman is not submissive, she is bringing shame on the word of God, how painful!

Submission is a non negotiable decision for a woman, it is not a choice or a suggestion, it is a command.

Some women will say, it is not about me but my husband ,he doesn’t just listen to me, he doesn’t accept correction and all that. The truth is that if you will only follow what the bible says then you will come out victorious, don’t have it your own way because it will complicate the issue. Paul has something to say about men like that and how to win them over.

1 Pet. 3:1-2 (N.L.T)

In the same way you wives accept the authority of our own husbands, even those who refuse to accept the good news. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior.

Submission is still the only way to win him over, your godly and reverential lives, it is so important that we do it God’s way and that is by doing what the bible says.

LOVE

I know some ladies will be wondering why is this book just on women, women, no it is not. It is just that we have to deal with the women’s part first, because the truth remains the woman is the administrator of the home, she is the home manager, she protects the home and she is the most affected when things go wrong in the home.

Proverbs 14:1

Every wise woman build her house: but the foolish plucks it out with her hands.

Eph. 5:25

Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it ;

Christ also has a responsibility for the Man, he is admonished as a command to love his wife and the model is Christ. He should love as Christ loves the church, so we can see marriage is after a divine pattern. in verse 32 Paul calls it a great mystery (the love between a husband and wife) because it should be patterned exactly after the love of Christ and the church. Remember the church is prepared as a bride to be officially married to Christ the bridegroom in heaven, so the marriage here should be after that pattern, God is very interested in marriage. The man has a huge role to play in bringing God’s Agenda to reality. Before we can truly understand the love the Man should show to the wife we must understand the love Christ showed to the church.

  • It was the love of Christ that pulled us towards him and made us submit completely to him
  • The love of Christ is a sacrificial love (Christ loves the church and gave himself for it ( 5:25))
  • No true love without sacrifice (not just giving (Jn. 3:1))
  • God’s love covers a multitude of sin, it is not a fault finding love.
  • God’s love is not judgmental
  • God’s love is not secretive ( if you love you will show it)
  • God’s love doesn’t run away or frown at responsibilities.
  • The love of Christ is protective and magnetic
  • The truth remains there is nothing you can do to make God stop loving you
  • God is love, he can never act outside his love ( 1 Cor. 13:4-8)

This is exactly the love any man that is ready for marriage should possess according to the scriptures, it is not just an emotional affair, it is a decision to make and to put yourself under an oath to obey so you won’t shame the word of God.

This is the simple reason a man that has not found God’s love shouldn’t even bother to marry, he can never fulfil God’s agenda in marriage, you can’t give what you don’t have. A man that is not born again with the nature of Christ can never express the love of Christ, any man who has not found Christ is a dangerous man and a terrible man, there is no way he can value you from Christ perspective.

My recommendations is that any man ready to marry should take time out to study 1 Cor. 13:4-8 detailedly and meditate on it until it becomes an integral part of him before he proceeds into marriage, any family that truly understands the revelation of 1 Cor. 13:4-8 and dedicate themselves to it will have a wonderful marriage, you can quote me anywhere, any day, any time. If they will make those verses of scriptures a legacy in their home, it will kill all the tension and give free room for angels. Nobody is happier than God when there is a blissful home because he has an agenda for it. God expects a total unity in the home. The man and the woman must be united first in their spirits, then their souls and in their bodies, that is complete unity and when there is such a unity within families it will extend to the church of God which is a big family (comprising of families). The family is the church of God, let us not forget it is not just God that is interested in our marriage, the devil is highly interested.

The number one enemy of the home is the devil, after the church the next institution the devil fights most is the home and remember the church consists of homes, have it at the back of your mind that you have one enemy to fight who is against the progress of your home, it is not your husband or the wife, it is the devil. He wants to bring dis harmony between couples. God’s way of protecting the home is Love from the Man (as Christ loved the church) and Submission from the woman (as the church submit to Christ) that is the model.

Christ is the model for marriage

The devil always seeks to bring the wrong people together to fulfil his demonic agenda, and we must stand against that by following God’s plan for our marriage and the pattern he has put in place for us, remember this is not known by any man but by the Holy Ghost, so we must inquire from him and follow his lead.

 

DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION

Divorce is just a graphical explanation of lack of reverence for the word of God, it just shows believers not following what the bible says, it is clearly not an option in anyway. It is a devastating effect of lack of cultural values because even our culture is strongly against divorce, in those days it was a big shame for a woman to be sent parking out of the husband’s house and a great stain on the name of the family, it is a proof the woman was not trained well at home. Even our fore fathers who didn’t know God didn’t divorce, some of them had more than two wives and none left him, they stayed till the end because it was their glory, it was their pride.

It was a hall mark of humility and responsibility for a woman to stay in her husband’s house for more than 20 years, it becomes a celebration if she can make it up to 40 years. The question now is “who did this to us” how did divorce now become a social pride, how come we have people who are celebrities in the movie industry, sports and others that are either divorced or about to be divorced, you can rarely see an artiste in marriage after 30 yrs, and they are still bold to be on stage. It is simply a culture depletion.

It is not love that keeps a marriage, it is a decision

It is a fact that those who divorce still love themselves after the divorce, but they just can’t live with themselves, the point is if the world doesn’t see anything wrong in divorce, should the church who should be the voice of morality accept divorce with both hands. I believe if we don’t address some things now, it will be a norm for the next generation. I love a powerful woman of God in America, and I tried to read her biography on net what stunned me was that she has gone through two divorces and she is in her third marriage and she is less than 60 yrs, the most interesting part was that she is still the head pastor of the church, now I don’t know how you feel about that, but it describes all I have been pointing out from the beginning, we cannot redefine the truth for our convenience.

Where is the place of endurance no matter the turbulence in the marriage, Paul tells us to endure hardness as soldiers of Christ, even in those days some women had terrible husbands that will womanize, be drunk and commit all sort of atrocities, they didn’t go anywhere instead they hoped he will change and they were not believers, this is where Paul talked about bringing shame on the word of God.

We should understand that we are ambassadors, we cannot afford to blaspheme the name of God to the gentiles through our character, that is why if you are not prepared for marriage then don’t get into it.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT DIVORCE

Every matter is settled in scriptures at the mouth of two or three witnesses (2nd cor. 13:1), so we can see God’s verdict on the issue with minimum 3 witnesses.

Witness 1

Matt. 19:3-8

…is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause ?

He answered and said to them, Have you not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female ….

Wherefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder,

They say to him, why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

He says to them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts permitted you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

The Pharisees came with a question here for Jesus, is it lawful to put away your wife for every cause, Jesus gave them a straight answer No. We need to note the word for every cause including fornication, and Jesus gave them the reasons “what God has Joined together, let no man put asunder”. Divorce is never an option as long as God is concerned, what Jesus was explaining to them was simple, Since it was God that joined them together, then no man can decide to dissolve it because they didn’t join themselves. It is not just two parties involved in the agreement, it is a three party agreement and for it to be legally dissolved the three parties must agree to that effect, and the special case here is that it is the third party that did the joining, so his own opinion is the most important. Someone may be asking, what if God agreed to the divorce? God cannot agree to divorce for this two important reasons

  • He will be breaking his own law. He himself said he is against divorce (Mal. 2:16) which is our second witness.
  • God doesn’t change his mind, he said I am the lord that changeth not (Mal.3:6), so even if both parties changes their mind , God doesn’t , so divorce cannot work.

I have heard people say you can divorce on the count of fornication, that is an incorrect interpretation of the bible , in the law it was allowed and when the Pharisees brought the position of the law for Jesus, Jesus told them bluntly it wasn’t God that told them to divorce, it was Moses that allowed them because of the hardness of their heart, but from the beginning it was not so.

He says to them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts permitted you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

The permission was granted by Moses for their hardness sake.

The third witness

1 Cor. 7:10-11

And to the married I command, yet not I, but the lord, let not the wife depart from her husband:

But and if she depart, let remain unmarried , or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

Paul clearly states that this is a command he received from the lord, some people may want to justify themselves by saying I can divorce my husband but I won’t be married again, the words used by Paul should be carefully examined contextually. A woman cannot divorce her husband because she didn’t marry him, she can at best depart (that means go away) but they haven’t divorced, Paul tells a woman not to depart (but there is a condition of which she can depart and remain unmarried, I will explain that later), but the man must not put away his wife, the word put away is to divorce. So it is clearly unscriptural to divorce, believers should learn tolerance and endurance and understand that the devil rejoices over divorce because he is the initiator in the first place.

This is not all there is about bible marriage but this is the primary, secondary is sex, affection, and others. Once this is solved then other things fall into place very easily.

GOD BLESS YOU FOR READING!

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (F.A.QS) and ANSWERS

  • How many years can someone use for courtship before marriage ?

There is no specific number of years laid down in scriptures, it is according to the discretion of the spirit, how prepared you are and the advice of counsellors can help. But for me I will advice Maximum 4 years, I won’t put a minimum, because there is no realistic minimum, it depends on the maturity of the people involved.

  • When is the right age for courtship.

For both parties, There is no specific age range at least between 20 and above, the important thing is maturity, spiritual maturity, physical maturity, emotional maturity, relational maturity. If you are not mature yet especially spiritually and emotional, don’t bother be patient.

  • What are the necessary requirements to have before courtship
  1. Vision – God’s vision for your life
  2. Direction – you must know where you are going , know your specific purpose in life and start working in that direction with considerable proofs.
  • How do I know God’s will for my life
  1. Prayer – Talk to God about it, he will either show you, lead you, direct you or any other means.
  2. Depend on the Holy Spirit – Don’t go after the outward beauty or even character, you may be deceived. Let the spirit witness in your heart
  3. Have a word – very important , no matter how powerful what you see, have a word back up, better still with three witnesses, don’t depend on dreams and external observations. The word is the mandate, the word is the agenda, the word is the pattern. Until you get the word, don’t move.
  4. Timing – Know when God wants you to go about it after you have received a revelation of the person.
  5. Study – Read books and go for materials that talk of Christian marriage with the bible in focus
  6. Discipline – if you have not disciplined yourself, and not just disciplined ( but conquered your body and his desires) don’t move.
  7. Spiritual Authority – have a spiritual authority over you that you submit to, they help to guide and to keep you in check, they don’t rule you or keep you in bondage but to guide and discipline when necessary, that is one effective way to avoid divorce, because if you have a responsible authority over you , you can’t try that . How self! Impossible.
  • When can a woman depart from her husband ( on what condition) ?

This is permissive under proper spiritual guidance by your spiritual authority, and this is not a decision you take, you must be permitted, in rare cases where the man is becoming a beast in the house and this happens if she married an unbeliever or a believer that has backslidden and her life is at risk, she can depart from him, while the church restores him, so when he is back to his senses, she can reconcile. What if he doesn’t get back to his senses? she remains where she is, probably with the church and she keeps on interceding till he is in his senses, but she musn’t remarry and must act according to instructions.

  • If I discover my wife is pregnant for another man, what should I do?

She is your wife, forgive her. Remember you are to love as Christ love the church, then settle for the baby (agree with the man whether he should have the baby or you take care of the baby), that is the love of Christ, and never use it against her for a day.

We can answer all questions, for more personal questions forward it to my email box , email : Davidoshinministries@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Henotace Team (7)

David Oshin is a Minister of the Gospel, Online Publisher, Gospel Blogger, and an Educationist. He is very passionate about UNITY of the body of Christ.