BOOK SUMMARY – GIVE AND TAKE BY ADAM GRANT

BOOK TITLE: GIVE AND TAKE.

 

By: Adam Grant.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHORS: Adam Grant.

 

Adam Grant has been Wharton’s top-rated professor for 7 straight years. As an organizational psychologist, he is a leading expert on how we can find motivation and meaning, rethink assumptions, and live more generous and creative lives. He has been recognized as one of the world’s 10 most influential management thinkers and Fortune’s 40 under 40.

 

​He is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of 5 books that have sold millions of copies and been translated into 45 languages: Think Again, Give and Take, Originals, Option B, and Power Moves. His books have been named among the year’s best by Amazon, Apple, the Financial Times, and the Wall Street Journal. His viral piece on languishing was the most-read New York Times article of 2021 and the most-saved article across all platforms.

 

Adam hosts the TED podcasts Re:Thinking and WorkLife. His TED talks on languishing, original thinkers, and givers and takers have over 30 million views. He has received a standing ovation at TED and was voted the audience’s favorite speaker at The Nantucket Project. His speaking and consulting clients include Google, the NBA, Bridgewater, and the Gates Foundation. He writes on work and psychology for the New York Times, has served on the Defense Innovation Board at the Pentagon, has been honored as a Young Global Leader by the World Economic Forum, and has appeared on Billions. He has more than 8 million followers on social media and features new insights in his free monthly newsletter, GRANTED.

 

 

 

 

LEAD #1: TAKERS AND GIVERS.

 

When we talk about successful people, three things are vital about them: Motivation, Ability, Opportunity.

As a person, if we must succeed, three things that shouldn’t be lacking in us are: Hard Work, Talent and Work.

 

The principle of give and take is; that is diplomacy— give one and take ten.

 

When it has to do with the reciprocity spectrum of work, we have two kinds: Takers and Givers.

 

TAKERS:

They have a distinctive signature. This means that they like to get more than they give. They tilt reciprocity in their favor thereby putting their interests first before others.

 

This set has the notion that ‘to succeed requires one to be better than others’. They are cautious and self protective.

When this category ( takers) of people succeed, someone else loses. This is because people are looking for ways to knock them down a notch.

 

 

GIVERS:

They tilt reciprocity in the other direction.

They are a rare breed that gives more than they get, thereby paying attention to what other people need from them.

They act on the interest of others such as providing mentorship, rendering helping hands, making connections for others, sharing credits etc.

 

When this category ( givers) of people succeed it spreads and cascades. This is because people are not just rooting, but also supporting them.

Givers have more opportunities to demonstrate their values.

 

Givers shoulders the blame for failures and give their partners more credit for successes.

 

 

 

 

LEAD #2: SPOTTING THE TAKERS IN A GIVER’S CLOTHES

 

Network comes with three major advantages: Private Information,

Diverse skills, and Power.

 

It’s important to know that people with rich networks achieve higher performance ratings, get promotions faster, and earn more money. The reason for this is because networks are based on interactions and relationships which in turn serve as a powerful prism for understanding the impact of reciprocity styles on success.

 

Always know that our motives in networking shapes the strength and reach of those networks, as well as the way that energy flows through them.

 

Takers tend to be dominant and controlling to subordinates, while they’re surprisingly submissive and deferential toward superiors. They become convincing fakers when dealing with influential superiors, because they go out of their way to charm and flatter,just because they want to be admired.

 

Takers love to use first-person singular pronoun like: I, me, mine, my, myself, rather than first-person plural pronouns like: we, us, our, ours, ourselves.

 

Reciprocity is a powerful norm, but it comes with two downsides, both of which contributes to the cautiousness with which many of us approach networking.

The first downside is that people on the receiving end often feel like they’re been manipulated.

Matchers tend to build smaller networks than either givers, who seek actively to help a wider range of people, or takers, who often find themselves expanding their networks to compensate for bridges burned in previous transactions.

 

When favor comes with strings attached or implied, the interaction can leave a bad taste, feeling more like a transaction than part of a meaningful relationship.

 

 

 

 

LEAD #3: DORMANT / WEAK TIES

 

Always know that it is wise to believe in the strength of weak ties. It’s true that strong ties are our friends and colleagues, the people we really trust while weak ties are our acquaintances, people we know casually.

However be informed that strong ties provide bonds while weak ties serve as bridges: they provide more efficient access to new information.

 

Our strong ties tend to travel in the same social circles and know about the same opportunities as we do, while weak ties are more likely to open up access to a different network, facilitating the discovery of original leads.

 

Remember the trust of strong ties coupled with the novel information of weak ties enables you get the best of both parties…

 

Since you know that the key is “reconnecting”… This is why givers succeed in the long run.

 

It’s been discovered that adults accumulate thousands of relationships over their lifetime but prior to the internet, they actively maintained no more than 100-200 at any given time.

 

Dormant ties are the neglected values in our networks.

 

Dormant ties provide more novel information than the current contacts. This is because the years they’ve been out of reach, they’ve been exposed to new ideas and perspectives.

Always know that reactivating a dormant tie actually required a shorter conversation, since there was already a common ground.

 

 

 

LEAD #4: FLYING SOLO

 

How do you distinguish between Geniuses and Genius makers?

Geniuses tend to be takers: To promote their own interest, they drain “intelligence, energy, and capability” from others.

 

Genius makers tend to be givers: they use their “intelligence to amplify the smarts and capabilities” of other people.

 

In the world of mountaineering, we have what’s called ‘ expenditure behavior’ which involves putting the group’s goals and mission first and showing the same amount of concern for others as you do for yourself…..This is what makes us succeed more than anything else.

 

This is one reason givers earn the respect of their collaboration.

When we talk about code of honor, it comprises: Show up, Work hard, Be kind, Take the high road.

 

It’s important to know that givers get extra credits when they offer ideas that challenge the status quo.

This is why there’s something magical about getting the reputation as someone who cares about others more than self. It redounds to you in countless ways.

 

There is what we call Responsibility Bias: It means exaggerating our own contributions relative to others’ inputs. This has been a major source of failed collaborations.

Worse is information Discrepancy: This happens when you have more access to information about your own contributions than the contributions of others. Seeing all of our own efforts but we only witness a subset of our partners’ efforts such that when we think about who deserves the credit, we have more knowledge of our own contributions more than others.

 

 

 

 

 

LEAD #5: A VICIOUS CYCLE.

 

 

The key to balancing our responsibility judgments is to focus our attention on what others have contributed. This is done by first listing what your partner has contributed before you estimate your own contributions.

The ability to imagine other people’s perspectives, rather than getting stuck in our own perspectives, is a signature skill of successful givers in collaborations.

 

Its wise to do a good job by building your buildings in keeping with your ideal.

When you notice a mistake in someone else, rather than conclude that the person lacked ability, see it as an avenue to teach the person thereby enabling the person to learn.

This is because your supportive behavior boosts their confidence and ability which enables and encourages them to achieve higher performance.

 

 

Takers place little trust in other people because they see them too as takers which makes them have low expectations for the potential of their peers and subordinates.

 

Always be aware that takers harbor doubts about others’ intentions, so they vigilantly monitor for information about others wanting to hurt them.

And it’s this fact that makes them treat others with distrust and suspicion.

 

Even when a taker is impressed by another person’s capabilities, they will never want to support such a person.

Whatever will be a boost to the confidence and development of their peers and subordinates, they shy away from it.

 

As usual, matchers love reciprocity so in a situation like this, they will go all out to render support, they tend to play safe and they do so by seeing evidence of promise. But the disadvantage of this is the fact that, they lose out on opportunities to people who don’t show a spark of talent or high potentials at first.

 

On the other hand, givers don’t wait for signs of potential since they are trusting and optimistic about other people’s intentions. Givers sees others as bloomers— them seeing others as talented and wanting to bring out the best in them.

 

They see people as diamonds in the rough, able and willing to be mined, cut and polished.

 

 

 

LEAD #6: HOW TO BE MODEST AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE.

 

 

Givers focus on gritty people. Their eye for talent is as sharp as their feelings for people.

Givers are usually undervalued by teams, since they didn’t hog the spotlight or use the flashiest of moves… In the game of basketball, it’s not what a player is, but what he can become…. that will allow him to grow.

 

There’s a close connection between grit and giving. Because of their dedication to others, givers are willing to work harder and longer. Even when practice is no longer enjoyable, givers continue exerting effort out of a sense of responsibility to their team.

 

This is why good givers are great getters; they make everybody better.

Always be informed that there are two fundamental paths to influence: Dominance and Prestige.

 

When we establish Dominance: Others see us as Strong, Powerful and Authoritative.

When we earn Prestige: We become influential because others respect and admire us.

These two paths to influence are closely tied to our reciprocity styles.

 

When takers come across someone more dominant, they’re at risk of losing their influence. This is why they strive to be superior to others by specializing in powerful communication via raising their voices to forcefully assert their authority, and promoting their accomplishments, even to the extent of issuing threats where necessary.

 

This is why dominance is a zero-sum game: the more power and authority I have, the less you have. Unlike prestige, it isn’t a zero-sum game; because there’s no limit to the amount of respect and admiration that we can dole out.

 

This tells us that prestige has more lasting value and it’s worth examining how people earn it.

 

Givers develope prestige in four domains of influence: presenting, selling, persuading, negotiating. Because they value and perspectives and interests of others, they’re more inclined to asking questions than offering answers, talking tentatively than boldly, admitting their weaknesses than displaying their strengths and seeking advice than imposing their views on others.

 

 

 

 

LEAD #7: THE GENEROUS TIT FOR TAT

 

Once successful givers see the value of sincerity screening and begin to spot agreeable takers as potential fakers, they protect themselves by adjusting their behavior accordingly.

 

When you see a taker, get into his head, not his heart.

As a giver, when you empathize at the bargaining table, thereby focusing on your counterparts’ emotions and feelings, you put yourself at risk of giving away too much. But when you engage in perspective talking, considering your counterparts’ thoughts and interests, you’re more likely to make deals that satisfy your counterparts without sacrificing your own interest.

 

A pure matcher strategy is called ‘tit for tat’ : They start out cooperative and stay cooperative unless their counterparts competes.

 

In “generous tit for tat”, the rule is: Never forget a good turn, but occasionally forgive a bad one.

 

‘Generous tit for tat’ can easily wipe out ‘tit for tat’ and defend itself against being exploited by defectors.

 

Generous tit for tat achieves a powerful balance of rewarding giving and discouraging taking, without being overly punitive.

 

Selfless givers makes the mistake of trusting all the time while otherish givers start out with trust as a default assumption, but always willing to adjust their reciprocity styles in exchanges with someone who appears to be a taker by action or reputation. This is why they put their interest in the rearview mirror, taking care to trust but verify.

 

 

 

LEAD #8: THE ALTRUISM DEBATE AND RECIPROCITY RING

 

If you have a natural mix of givers,takers and matchers in your company, you can do a lot to magnify the giver tendency, suppress the more aggressive taker tendency and shift the matchers towards giving. There’s an energy and a satisfaction that you get out of it.

 

Reducing bad feelings is not the only reason people help. This is because empathy can also drive helping. Feelings of concern and compassion motivates us to act for the benefit of others at a personal cost.

 

Empathy makes us merge the victim into our sense of self. We experience a sense of oneness with the victim, or self -other overlap, and this leads to greater helping.

 

Takers and matchers will sometimes give when they know what they’re letting out can advance others interest as well as theirs all at the same time.

 

The reciprocity ring is designed to what is known as ‘self-fulfilling’ prophecy. It makes one to openly ask for help without feeling embarrassed.

 

When requests are being explicit and specific in nature, it makes participants provide potential givers with clear direction about how to contribute effectively. Here, matchers and takers will need to contribute.

 

Givers will always give whether it’s in private or public, takers tend to give less if it’s private, but will hype their giving if it’s going to go public in the bid of gaining attention/fame.

 

This is why successful givers get to the top without cutting others down. They also find ways of expanding the pie that benefits them and the people around them.

 

 

 

LEAD #9: ACTIONS FOR IMPACT

 

Test Your Giver Quotient:

This is to enable you track your impact and assess your self-awareness especially now that we live in a feedback vacuum deprived of knowledge about how our actions affect others.

 

Run a Reciprocity Ring:

Here, you find out what could be achieved in your organisation.

 

Help Others Craft Their Job— Or Craft Youra to Incorporate More Giving:

This is because people end up working on tasks that are not aligned with their interests and skills.

This can be done by helping others on tasks that are more interesting, meaningful or developmental.

 

Start a Love Machine:

This is designed to enable employees tos send a love mesaage when they appreciated help from a colleague.

This process is visible to others, rewarding and recognising giving by linking it to status and reputations.

 

Embrace the Five Minute Favour:

Here, you can reconnect with dormant ties and, not to get something, but to give.

 

Practice Powerless Communication, but Become an Advocate:

Here, you move from talking to listening, from self promoting to advice seeking, and advocating to inquiring.

 

Join a Community of Givers:

Here, generous strangers unite to bring immediate hope to people with pressing needs all over the world.

 

Seek Help More Often:

Here, you’re creating an opportunity for people to express their values and feel valued.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KEY INSIGHTS FROM THE BOOK ????.

 

✍????The principle of give and take is; that is diplomacy— give one and take ten.

 

✍???? Our motives in networking shapes the strength and reach of our networks, as well as the the way that energy flows through them.

 

✍???? People with rich networks achieve higher performance rating get promotion faster, and earn more money.

 

✍???? Givers have more opportunities to demonstrate their values.

 

✍???? Network ties are the conduits by which information and resources are shared.

 

✍???? When favor comes with strings attached or implied, the interaction can leave a bad taste, feeling more like a transaction than part of a meaningful relationship.

 

✍???? Strong ties provide bonds but weak ties serve as bridges.

 

✍???? Reactivating a dormant tie actually required a shorter conversation, since there was already a common ground.

 

✍???? Dormant ties are the neglected values in our networks.

 

✍???? Givers shoulders the blame for failures and give their partners more credit for successes.

 

✍???? The key to balancing our responsibility judgments is to focus our attention on what others have contributed.

 

✍???? When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.

 

✍???? Givers sees others as bloomers— them seeing others as talented and wanting to bring out the best in them.

 

✍???? Givers sees others as bloomers— them seeing others as talented and wanting to bring out the best in them.

 

✍???? it’s not what a player is, but what he can become…. that will allow him to grow.

 

✍???? Good givers are great getters; they make everybody better.

 

✍???? There are two fundamental paths to influence: Dominance and Prestige.

 

✍???? In “generous tit for tat”, the rule is: Never forget a good turn, but occasionally forgive a bad one.

 

✍???? A matcher strategy is called ‘tit for tat’ : They start out cooperative and stay cooperative unless their counterparts competes.