Beautiful conversation from a counselor

Good morning Apt OC Merciful,
I have a problem.

Sometimes this feeling of God have not forgiven me keep disturbing me even after I ask God to forgive me.

I’m 20 years old and have reached a point in my life where I no longer want to live in sin. I have sinned in the past by participating in casual sex and club life but I want to change. I find it hard to accept that God may be willing to forgive me for my sins when I can’t forgive myself.

Are we suppose to feel guilty about our sins forever? Is this what God wants us to feel? How do we know that he has forgiven us? I want to be a better person I’m just worried too much damage has already been done.

My response:
That is a really, really great question.

The great news about Jesus can bring forgiveness to anyone. The blood of Jesus is enough to wipe away even the worst of sins. If you are someone who trusts in Jesus Christ, then there is now no condemnation from God – he has forgiven you (Romans 8:1). The Bible is full of people who have done all sorts of really horrible things (adulterers, prostitutes, murderers, extortionists), but who are accepted by Jesus (e.g. John 4:1-26; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Luke 23:32-43). Even the apostle Paul (who was one of christianity’s earliest and most ardent supporters) was someone who was responsible for violent persecution of Christians before he encountered Jesus (Acts 8:1-3) – yet Jesus fully forgave him. It doesn’t matter what you have done – Jesus can bring you forgiveness.

This can be something that is very hard to grasp sometimes, especially when you feel weighed down by guilt. But if God has forgiven you, then you have every reason to forgive yourself too. You have been washed clean. So does God want us to feel guilty about our sins forever? The short answer is ‘no’.

Does that mean it’s wrong to feel guilty about our sin? Well” it depends. The Apostle Paul talks about two different kinds of sorrow over sin:

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2 Corinthians 7:10).

Feeling sorry about sin is a great thing if it leads to repentance (i.e. turning away from sin). That is ‘godly sorrow’. But feeling sorry for your sins is a bad thing if it doesn’t help you to turn your life away from sin. This can often happen because we don’t really believe that God has forgiven us – so we need to keep reminding ourselves that he has!

It sounds like you want to repent, but you’re worried that God will not accept you. Rest assured: He certainly will! You can find forgiveness no matter what you’ve done. That’s why Jesus died!

This question is from Anonymous.

© Apt OC Merciful
Marriage Coach and Addiction counselor.

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