A church’s entrance isn’t just a functional space for people coming to and from church. It’s a vital social space where gospel friendships begin and where visitors and regulars alike are made to feel not just welcome but known and loved.
A key dynamic in a church’s social fabric is the greetings. The greetings given at the door by the “welcoming team” are important, but also consider the assortment given by brothers and sisters in Christ to one another, Sunday after Sunday. What should these look like?
Paul’s personal greetings in Romans 16 provide a helpful model. His 27 (or so) greetings at the end of his letter to the first-century church in Rome exemplify how he lived the good news in Romans 1–15 and still provide guidance for how to build a gospel-centered church culture today.
Here’s how (and why) to greet like Paul.
1. Greet one another by name.
Paul took the time to transcribe 27 greetings by name at the end of his letter. This shouldn’t be overlooked or underestimated. His greetings by name show his desire to let these people know specifically how he “longed to see” them (1:11) and that they were in his prayers (v. 10).
Paul wasn’t an armchair theologian or an aloof apostle. He loved people. He desperately wanted to be with them in person, which is why he lamented in the beginning of the letter, “I have often intended to come to you (but thus far have been prevented)” (v. 13).
His affection was evident. Paul referred to Epaenetus, Ampliatus, Stachys, and Persis as “beloved” (16:5, 8, 9, 12); Phoebe as “sister” (v. 1); Herodion, Andronicus, and Junia as “kinsmen” (vv. 7, 11); and Rufus’s mother as a “mother to [Paul] as well” (v. 13). He also greeted individuals including Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas, “and the brothers who are with them” (v. 4).
His affection exemplifies the gospel’s power to transform believers. Paul went from “breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord” (Acts 9:1) to lovingly writing 27 familial greetings to his brothers and sisters in Christ in a far outpost church in Rome.
Likewise, our greetings in the church lobby or sanctuary, or in a home small group, should display how the gospel forges us as beloved family in Christ. Take time to greet your Christian brothers and sisters by name—a practice also commended by John (3 John:15)—especially those outside your immediate friend circle. Challenge yourself to learn at least one new name each Sunday and greet that brother or sister by name the following Sunday.
As a member of my church’s greeting team, I notice that visitors greeted by name on their second and third times at church often return. Everyone responds well to hearing his or her name, and we all want to go to a place where our name is known.
2. Honor one another.
Paul honored Prisca and Aquila, who had “risked their necks” for him (v. 4), and honored Mary for her hard work (v. 6), as he did Tryphaena, Tryphosa, and Persis (v. 12). He honored Phoebe, who carried the letter from Corinth to Rome, as “a patron of many and of [himself] as well” (v. 2).
Everyone responds well to hearing his or her name, and we all want to go to a place where our name is known.
By honoring specific people in specific ways, Paul showed his personal gratitude and encouraged each person to see how his or her service, hospitality, or friendship advanced the gospel. Those being honored likely felt greatly encouraged. That’s why Paul commonly exhorted many churches to build a culture of honor where all members encourage one another regularly (Rom. 12:10; 1 Cor. 12:16; 1 Thess. 5:11; Eph. 4:29).
Likewise, be quick and generous in your honoring: “Outdo one another in showing honor” (Rom. 12:10). Encourage the person who faithfully serves in the media booth or the person who stayed after church to pray for someone. Everyone is worthy of—and in need of—honor. You don’t need to be a leader, nor do you need a mic, to honor a brother or sister in the faith. Often the most meaningful moments of honoring are in the children’s ministry classrooms, the church lobby, or a small group living room.
We need to practice honoring one another because it isn’t always a natural practice. Recently at our church, we paired up to honor one another in a preservice serve team huddle. A man who was new to the church and serving on the logistics team said he’d never been honored. A tragedy. After receiving encouragement from a brother in the faith that Sunday morning, he was more open to the love of God and more open to community.
God is honored when we honor one another.
3. Greet with (an appropriate version of) a ‘holy kiss’ (Rom. 16:16).
Paul concluded his greetings to the Roman Christians with a charge to “greet one another with a holy kiss” (16:16). Robert J. Banks explains that kisses were “a regular part of everyday life among the Greeks and in Eastern societies, especially among relatives, friends and those giving and receiving hospitality.” By charging them to kiss one another on greeting, Paul exhorted the Roman church to give familial greetings because they were a family in Christ.
The 27 names in Paul’s greeting reflect who was part of the church: men and women, Jews and Gentiles, slaves and freemen, apostles and deacons, the rich and the poor, those mature in the faith and recent converts. Prior to Christian churches, Jews and Gentiles didn’t mix in a social community. Neither did slaves and those who were free, nor the rich and poor. The gospel radically transforms relationships.
A kiss is most likely not appropriate today (unless you’re in a culture like France where kisses on the cheek are normal). But give a family-style greeting because you are family. Always look people in the eye and smile. If appropriate, shake their hand, bump their fist, or give a “Christian side hug.”
To greet someone who’s in a wheelchair, pull up a chair and speak to your brother at his eye level. To greet a child, kneel to look her in the eye if you’re able and ask her name. Go out of your way to greet those new to the church and those standing or sitting by themselves. Greet one another as a family, because in Christ you are family.
Imagine a Future Greeting
After years of longing to see the saints in the Roman church, Paul arrived and gave his greetings in person, likely with many holy kisses. Imagine that greeting.
Greet one another as a family, because in Christ you are family.
Imagine Paul arriving at the home of Aquila and Prisca as the church gathered. Imagine when he saw Rufus’s mother again and they shared a meal. Imagine Phoebe telling Paul about the boat journey to Rome and how she kept the letter safe. Imagine Paul honoring Epaenetus for his growth in the faith. Imagine the family of Narcissus reading his letter aloud and asking Paul questions about justification by faith.
Now imagine the greeting we all long for. Imagine when Jesus Christ will greet you by name. Imagine being greeted by all the brothers and sisters named in Romans 16 and by every disciple from every generation and every nation. What a greeting it will be! Let your longing for that greeting motivate how (and why) you greet your brothers and sisters this Sunday, and every Sunday.
