5 Times Waiting Is Hard (and Why)

Sometimes we don’t get waiting right because we’re not prepared for how hard it is. Underneath our disdain for waiting is often our longing for control.

Let me be clear: that desire isn’t fundamentally sinful. Nor is it necessarily wrong if waiting is hard. Gaps in life are part of God’s design for the world. They’re a common element of our human experience for good reason. Imagine what you’d be like if you didn’t have to wait for anything.

We need to wrestle with this question: When and why is waiting hard? Consider some examples of waiting in your life. Let’s see if we can unpack when it’s hard so we can understand why.

Uncertainty

Waiting usually involves some level of uncertainty, and that’s uncomfortable. It’s challenging to move forward when you don’t know what’s going on or when information isn’t available. Without data or explanation, problems are hard to prevent or manage. That feel threatening because information creates solutions.

It’s important to understand, however, that our desire to possess knowledge is more than a passion for learning. You’ve probably heard that “knowledge is power.” It’s true. Knowing what’s happening is one of the many ways we try to bring order to our lives.

Knowing what’s happening is one of the many ways we try to bring order to our lives.

Previous generations were more familiar with uncertainty. We have faster technologies in our pockets than our grandparents could have ever dreamed of. All it takes is a quick internet search and we can have the answers to most of our questions. Social media gives us constant updates on our friends’ lives. Want to know what’s happening around the world? We’re only a click or swipe away from instant access to breaking news. All this creates an unfamiliarity and discomfort with uncertainty.

Waiting for information creates a painful gap. It’s hard because understanding what’s happening gives us a sense of control.

Uncertainty reveals vulnerability.

Delays

Waiting on the timing of something is hard. This is typically one of the first examples people give when talking about waiting. We audibly groan over traffic jams, being put on hold, doctor’s appointments, airport layovers, or visiting the DMV. Our internal clock begins to tick, and we wrestle with why something is taking so long. Add into the mix a slow teller, a demanding customer, or someone trying to cut in line, and it’s surprising what negative and sinful emotions emerge.

Important and serious moments in life often involve delays, and it isn’t easy. Sometimes it’s downright scary. I’ve been a pastor long enough to see the deep tension that develops as people wait for a job offer, the sale of a home, college admissions, medical tests, an adoption ruling, or contact from an estranged family member. These life-altering scenarios involve waiting, and it’s a battle not to fill the time gap with impatience or fear.

Daily life involves challenging delays.

Disappointment

It’s hard to wait when good desires go unfulfilled. There’s a unique internal battle when you’re waiting for something important but feel the looming clouds of disappointment starting to form.

I have in mind a young man or woman who desires the lifelong companionship of marriage or a couple struggling with infertility after years of challenges. There are parents tearfully waiting for their grown children to come back to a relationship with Jesus, and family members who desperately want to see a loved one freed from an addiction because of the havoc it’s creating.

This kind of waiting doesn’t merely involve information or time. It’s connected to dreams and hopes. Often they’re honorable desires, and that can make waiting even more challenging. The fact that it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

However, this can quickly devolve. Wrestling with unfulfilled desires or unmet expectations is deeply painful—even jarring. You might ask, Why would God make me wait for something that’s good? Betsy Childs Howard writes, “It’s much easier to stop hoping than it is to have your dream deferred again and again.” How true. This can lead to hopelessness.

Waiting is hard when you’ve been disappointed.

Pain

It’s uncomfortable to wait, and that’s especially true when you’re in pain. If you read through Psalm 69, don’t miss the phrase “My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God” (v. 3). David expresses a deep weariness as he cries out to God while being overwhelmed, slandered, rejected, and mocked. In verse 29, he says, “I am afflicted and in pain.” The psalm’s background isn’t clear, but it seems he’s waiting for vindication while being hurt by people. It’s hard to wait when you’re being attacked.

There are other kinds of pain as well. Many Christians know the challenges related to an illness, a disability, or an ongoing health issue. While medical treatments provide much more relief and healing than in any previous generation, many people are still waiting for healing. Others are familiar with the slow demise of a loved one. Whether it’s the decline with a disease like Alzheimer’s or the bedside vigil of hospice care, waiting with a loved one in pain is heartbreaking. Maybe your pain is related to a relationship conflict, a divorce, a wayward child, or the death of someone close to you.

Waiting for healing—physical and emotional—is hard.

Powerlessness

Waiting is hard when we feel powerless. The gaps of life are really moments with a control vacuum. It might be better to say waiting is hard because we feel powerless.

Therefore, you could easily expand my list into any area where you’ve lost the kind of control you want. Information, timing, expectations, and comfort are often able to be managed. When we can’t control these things, a gap is created, and we have to wait. Can you think of any areas I’ve not listed?

Where do you experience a deep need for control? Consider something that, if missing in your life, creates a significant struggle.

An Opportunity

Diagnosing when waiting is hard helps us not to waste it. The opportunity presented to us isn’t easy, but it’s good. And the challenge we experience could be seen as part of the normal Christian life. As one writer explained, “The tension you feel as you try to simultaneously hope in heaven while living wholeheartedly in this life isn’t necessarily an indicator of sinful discontentment. It may simply be evidence that you are a citizen of heaven living on earth.”

The fact that waiting is hard doesn’t mean you’ve already failed.

Simply acknowledging that waiting isn’t easy, examining why, and then looking to God are the first steps of learning how to wait.

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